Talking to Children About Race: How to Make It Easier?

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When children are between the ages of 5 and 8, their awareness of the world around them and their personal identity begins to develop significantly. Children not only observe but also ask questions about skin color, appearance, or the origins of those around them. Questions like “Why doesn’t that person look like me?” or “What race am I?” are not uncommon at this age. According to Dr. Marguerite Wright, psychologist and author of I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla (1998), how parents answer these questions will shape their child’s attitude toward diversity throughout their life.

Contrary to popular belief, avoiding or “teaching children not to talk about race” can unintentionally reinforce stereotypes. “Not discussing differences only makes the topic taboo and can lead to misunderstandings,” notes Dr. Susan Linn, a psychologist at Harvard. For this reason, parents need to proactively guide their children about diversity and the meaning of fairness.

Starting with introducing children to stories and images representing various ethnic groups, parents can help them recognize that differences are not negative. Books like The Story of Ruby Bridges or Let’s Talk About Race not only tell stories but also convey profound messages about history and the value of respect. If the family doesn’t live in a diverse community, participating in cultural events such as Japanese festivals or international fairs is a great way for children to gain exposure.

Additionally, parents should maintain an open attitude when children ask questions or make comments about race. Sometimes children may say surprising or even uncomfortable things. Instead of reprimanding them, ask follow-up questions like, “What made you think that?” This not only helps children understand the issue more deeply but also creates opportunities to explain that everyone is unique and deserving of respect.

Controlling the media content children are exposed to also plays a crucial role. According to a report by Common Sense Media (2022), children aged 5-8 spend an average of 2 hours a day watching TV or using digital devices. Many programs or news outlets may convey misleading messages about racial groups. Therefore, parents need to supervise and take advantage of these “teachable moments” to explain or adjust their child’s perceptions.

In addition to family education, collaboration with schools is also essential. Parents should suggest diverse materials and activities at school, such as books about different cultures or discussions on fairness. Encouraging children to make friends with classmates from various backgrounds also helps them develop communication skills and empathy.

However, it’s important not to place too much emphasis on the topic of race, which might make children feel pressured. Let conversations unfold naturally, little by little, in ways that are age-appropriate. This skill not only helps children better understand themselves but also lays the foundation for them to become responsible global citizens in the future.